Re-entry

                                                             GOING FROM HERE


                                                                        TO


                                                                     HERE

I know, "Life is tough." But, why not treat yourself to your fantasy.  Shout out to my cousin Chris,who put me up for a few days in Delray on my way to Key West.  Had a nice time. Now, I see why he loves Florida so much. Nothing like getting real Vitamin D. Beats a supplement anytime. I guess that could be said about a lot of things.

It's Like Riding A Bike.....

Most people have heard the above post title used in reference to "having SEX". It all comes back, it's simple, you won't have any problems. Sure. Who started that one.....?  I want to know. I went bicycling today and I had trouble steering and balancing. Went through bushes twice, lost the chain once, and kept cars at bay. The point is that with practice it does come back, not sex or bicycling. I refer to the everyday actions of daily living. Especially after a bout of illness.What we take for granted is not so simple once we haven't done it for awhile? Making your bed, changing clothes, taking a shower. It takes energy and will-power. It takes strength of conviction, determination, and the support of family and friends. Do not give up. It's easier but the sense of accomplishment can initiate a chain of actions, until you achieve goals you never thought yourself capable of. DON'T GIVE UP.

Courage

What does courage look like?  Watch the link below and you'll .know

Vulnerability and Cancer

Painted by Guido Reni (series of seven)

Although St. Sebastian is not the patron saint of cancer victims (St. Peregrine is), St. Sebastian is the most popular image known to most people. He is often pictured as dying as a martyr for his faith, pierced by many arrows. He has been the subject of many articles and revered by many as seen in UK's, The  Independent.  I found the last paragraph very intriguing:

All of which is to say that the secret of Sebastian's success may lie in his ability to be all things to all men. Along with the famous arrows, the symbol of his martyrdom is the rope that binds his hands; yet the shape-shifting Sebastian just won't be tied down. The novelist and political activist Susan Sontag pointed out that his face never registers the agonies of his body, that his beauty and his pain are eternally divorced from each other. This made him proof against plague in 1348, and, in these ungodly times, it still does. A recent book devoted to the martyr includes Aids-related work by artists including Wolfgang Tillmans and Louise Bourgeois. It is called Saint Sebastian: A Splendid Readiness for Death.

'The Agony and the Ecstasy: Guido Reni's Saint Sebastians' is at the Dulwich Picture Gallery, London SE21, 020 8693 5254, until 11 May

So what is my point....I'm getting there. I was thinking about vulnerability and wondered if one can be too vulnerable. I'm not sure. Many women and some men describe themselves as vulnerable, which is the capacity to be hurt, physically or emotionally. But, it may also mean you have the capacity to love more. As with anything, I'm sure it's all about balance. But my eternal quest is : "how do you achieve that balance?"

I do think that cancer patients, from the point of diagnosis to all stages, are vulnerable. First of all, none of us ever expected to be in that category. Once we are, we define life differently and possibly realize the importance of every moment. All our emotions are magnified and very fine-tuned. We are often prescribed drugs to deal with these feelings but possibly we need to explore those feelings. I know that I do. As I try to enjoy these beautiful days in paradise, I find myself often reminded of the arrows of pain that I and my fellow travelers have endured. At the same time, I try to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me. The paradox of pain and pleasure comes to mind.  

I strongly encourage anyone who can, to take some time for some introspection. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you find there....I have to go. I'm having drinks with Sebastian. 

Money Flies....

It just seems to disappear faster than I'd like. The other day, it literally happened. I was at the toll booth.
"That will be $8.00 sir.

"Eight dollars!" I had only gone about 2 miles.  I had been prepared to give up to three, but eight. So, I pulled out my wallet and found a five to hand over with the three ones. At that magic moment when money exchanges hands, I saw my five dollar bill float away toward the line of cars behind me As I watched it pass me, I thought, "there goes another five" and was prepared to dig deeper into my wallet. But the toll taker who has probably seen this happen numerous times, said, "You can still get it. It's right there behind your car. I can see it."

Not wanting to lose it, I jumped out of my car, not realizing I hadn't put it into park. I ran for the five, jumped on it so it wouldn't fly away and watched my car move forward.  Oh yeah, and my dog Nathan was jumping around the front seat. Money or Nathan. I ran to my car and caught it just in time. I backed up to the booth, handed her the money. 

"You nearly lost both." Yeah, I nearly did. I was sure I had given her the money initially, and wondered if she had let it go. I thought she had but I could never prove it. Working as a toll taker must get boring. Before I drove away, she seemed to be muffling a laugh, as she said, "Have A Nice Day."

Paradise

This is what I search for, but alas, it is a pic of the sunset in Maui. Although, not in Maui, I am on my way to Key West. So far, the drive has been uneventful except for being pulled over after 30 minutes into my trip. It seems I took the wrong exit and went through a red light with a cop behind me. (Whoops)  I tried to tell him I was lost, but he said that didn't explain the red light.  I told him I didn't see the sign.  He said that was a big stretch. I finally said, "you're right."  And he said, "Follow me and I'll get you to the right place." Someone just try to tell me there isn't a God out there. 

I drove ten hours and I'm here in wonderful Goodletsville, outside of Nashville. The pool is closed because it is 42 degrees. You may be asking what this has to do with being a Cancer Stud. You have to get peace, quiet, and sun.  You need to relax on the beach. It's all part of the program. Like the cop said, "That's a big stretch."

Diet and Cancer

I have just finished watching a very controversial film, Forks Over Knives. Essentially it deals with the importance of a plant-based diet as opposed to a fat-based animal diet. Exploring the work of Dr. Esselstyn and others, it showed how diet can stop and reverse heart disease, diabetes, and a number of other diseases. It did not go as far as saying it can cure cancer, but it did feature a 70  year old woman who had breast and bone cancer. She switched her diet and recently won a gold medal in her class for a triathlon. Yeah, yeah, you're saying. I've heard about all these miracle cures and how can it help me now. Maybe it can or maybe it can't. But for all of us who have been diagnosed, treated, endured chemicals, and surgery, I do think it's worth taking a look at. We all know how much advertising and lobbyists control what we see, eat, and believe. When political committees are made up of people who have strong connections with dairy, cattle, and other meat, I think we know what they will encourage and endorse. Studies have statistically shown the increase of cancer, including prostate cancer, as communities switch from plant based to meat based diets. Most Americans, including me, were brought up on meat based meals. Most of my family has high cholesterol, diabetes, and cancer. But, I am not on a "soap box" or maybe I am, but I am going to look into this. If diet can help prevent obesity and a number of diseases, which are now beginning to show up in our children, I think it's time to examine anything which could prevent a number of diseases and lower our prescription bills. I say, "Eat a tomato. Cook up some brown rice. Cut out desserts (well, I'll have to give some serious thought to the last one.) But, do watch, Forks Over Knives.

"Guy With The Persian Tattoo"

Above are some images of the Persian alphabet. As you can see, the letters are quite intricate and different from the English alphabet. Now imagine having "good luck on your journeys" along with the letter "M" tattooed on your penis.  This is exactly what a 21 yr. old Iranian man had done recently. A declaration of love for his girlfriend (M). Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective, he was left with a side-effect of being perpetually semi-erect  Who can imagine what was going on in his mind when he had this done.  I know when I was 21, I did a lot of crazy things and  I was usually under the influence when I did them. Whatever happens buddy, I wish you happiness and hope she realizes the depth of your passion. May you both have a life filled with dance and love.

Happy New Year

Last year around this time, I was dealing with a flood in my basement. Although not as dramatic as last,  2011 was marked with some sadness and joy. Everyone has different memories, but Pam Peterson's rendition will make you laugh. I can't think of a better way to start the New Year.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Haven't been on the blog for awhile. Sorry, guys. Currently getting over an allergy and under the weather. Reason for the hospital gown. (My master tends to be dramatic) So, I'm playing it up as much as I can. You wouldn't believe how many treats you can get. If it happens to you, go for it.

But, more than anything, I wish you a Happy Holiday. Enjoy your friends and family. Love you all. 

Iraq War Ends

The Iraq War began on March 20, 2003 and ended on December 15, 2011.Welcome back soldiers. It is so nice to be able to say that. I have found myself taking their presence for granted, not worrying that they are fighting for America's freedom. There have been many wars and deaths. Let's pause and celebrate this happy moment. When you see a soldier don't be afraid to express your appreciation. Give them a hug, shake their hands, or just walk up and say, "thank you." Let them know we are proud of them and glad they are back. 

They are the ones who fought for our freedom. I personally want you to know I appreciate it and welcome you back. Great  job.  (Of course, below is a picture of President Obama but I feel the same.)

Black Friday

A special shopping day observed the day after Thanksgiving. It symbolizes the beginning of the holiday season and retailers entice shoppers with door busters.  People often line up in huge crowds to get the best bargains.

They come by LAND:

by AIR:

                                                                 AND BY SEA:          

But, if you're smart, you'll stay home and enjoy your friends, family, and food.                                   HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Catch up

It's been nearly two weeks since my last post and I'm sorry for not posting earlier. It seems my procrastination is kicking in big time. For those of you who have the same problem, as you know, there is always one more reason to delay. I find I'm probably my most creative in that area these days. Work has been slow because people are out of work and many don't have insurance and getting therapy is not a priority. And so it goes.... I've been spending more time at the gym working out. It keeps the frustration down and it is amazing how good it makes me feel.

                                  I have a few more ideas about getting my book published and have received a few more rejections which is only natural and part of the business. I'm going to start pasting them all over the room. Many writers do. I also have started another project, a play, and am thinking about a funny detective story. The holidays are right around the corner and although I am not a big fan of them, I realize there is no way for me to stop them. I wish I were getting away to some beautiful warm spot in the Caribbean. Since I can't, I think I'll turn up the heat a few degrees and dance around in my speedo                

MONSTAR MASH.....let's all do the MONSTAR MASH

      We should all be dancing on Halloween

Happy Halloween Everyone......

            NATHAN: A BANANA SPLIT

                     

Avoid The Gym

New exercise posted on  YouTube

I know, I know, but if you didn't laugh, I hope you smiled....I did both.

Cancer Dancers......

Every time this plays, Youtube will donate one dollar to cancer research.  It's going viral guys...Check out cancer dancer 

Rock Steady

A little Soul Train to start the week...

Atrocities..

Recently, the United States Preventive Task Force Committee USPTFC put out a proposal saying that the PSA test which is a test used by most doctors to detect prostate cancer is unreliable and essentially worthless. Since my cancer was caught early by means of this test. I strongly disagree as do many others who were saved by this test. The Committee argues that it may lead to biopsies, other tests, and what they call unnecessary surgery. This Committee is lead by Dr. Virginia Moyer, professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine and chief quality officer for medicine at Texas Children's Hospital. This same committee ruled in 2009 that pap smears were unnecessary for women as a means for detecting breast cancer. I'm sure many women would also disagree with this.

Although, the Task Force's recommendations are just that, most doctors use the recommendations as a means to decide what tests they give their patients. I think: "Follow The Money." I would guess in someway this is tied to insurance companies exclusion of tests  or government to cut medicare costs.It is another form of Geriatracide, since many of us were diagnosed in our 60's.Since more publicity has come out about prostate cancer, this test is now detecting people in their 50's. I will agree that this test is not perfect, but for now, it is all we have. For someone, who has had a family history of prostate cancer or for African Americans, who make up half of the patients who die from this disease.

I find this recommendation unconscionable. I probably would not be writing this today had it not been for awareness and early detection. This recommendation is immoral, unjust, and needs to be opposed. Public opinion is allowed through tomorrow,Tuesday, October 11, before it becomes final. Please voice your opinions by contacting the committee or USTOO , an organization for prostate cancer survivors or their families. MALECARE is also launching a protest regarding this.                                                                              

                                                        Thank you for reading this. 

CONGRATULATIONS TIGERS

NL WINNERS

WAY TO   GO TIGERS

Steve Jobs....

Truly a genius.  I say that because I am a Apple person. Always have been. He made my life easier but his life goes on every time we use our iphone, our ipad, or laptop. Wish you could have stayed longer but you were loved and we always be remembered as a visionary. Enclosed is a post from Nathan Bransford from CNET. Thanks for everything.steve jobs

O Solo Mio- Il Volo

For a change, it's time for a song by three very talented teenagers. Il Volo.......
When you're sad, and thinking only about yourself, remember this song and sing...O Solo Mio

How to Kiss

I've always believed kissing is important.  If you don't, you probably don't know how to kiss. Looking back, I wonder where I learned to kiss,and it was in N.Y. (If you can do it there...you can do it anywhere).My friend Maggie, who just happened to be a lesbian, loved to kiss me and she'd correct me as I kissed her. I have to admit it was not unpleasant. I should mention we were usually drunk, but that only took away the inhibition. To this day, I really enjoy kissing and spend much time doing it. It's only difficult if you're by yourself. I suggest trying it with someone, if you want to perfect your technique. I was able to find information on the web on how to kiss... I've never read any books on it, since I do believe it's an experiential and needs to be practiced. So all of you out there who wonder, find a willing partner and practice, practice, practice.

J-lo and Mark Anthony Divorce......

Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony split after a 7 yr. marriage.  Boo hoo.  Do you know how their careers have taken off since then?  Both have launched

their own line of clothing. J-lo is doing foreign car commercials. Mark Anthony has never been more popular.......Now, if you don't think this was a

publicity stunt, think again. Mark my words with J-lo, they will get back together. They are a smart couple, but puhleeze......I feel a crying attack coming on....it's so sad. 

Dating and Cancer

Many people assume we are in relationships when we get cancer. That's not true. It's just that there aren't too many forums or blogs that deal with cancer and being single. I was single when I was diagnosed, when I had surgery, when I recovered. Not only was I single. I was gay and single. I still am gay and single. The difference is I am in remission. Cancer is insidious. It left me with a sense of dying. My healthy self did die but my healthy side refused to. I know we all fight and some lose. I don't think we want to but sometimes cancer is too pervasive. Too destructive for any surgery or treatment to stop it. So what's my point? My point is that I feel I am very lucky and blessed. I try to remember that everyday. I try to be aware of it. I try not to be depressed over small things. I try to remember what's important in life. It's not money or possessions. It's family, friends, and I'd like to say a relationship. I keep looking and keep myself open to the idea of it. I try not to let cancer define me and insist that I define who I am.  You can too. Remember that. I'm trying to.

On Eagle's Wings

My dear cousin Rodney died yesterday after a battle with cancer. Fly quickly my friend. We will miss you. In his honor, I think of him being raised up, no longer in pain, On Eagle's Wings.

Kitchensink

When I think of a kitchen sink, I think of something like the one above. Except, I don't wash my hands in the kitchen sink. Silly me, I use it for dirty dishes or peeling fruit or vegetables. I'm sure you want to know where I wash my hands. Hold on. Hold on.  There is a point here.

The Kitchensink I discovered is a very small coffee house which is only a block away from me. It is perfect for writing. Not many people know about it. The staff is uber friendly and willing to help you with anything. They even bring your coffee to your table. Of course, there is the chalkboard for continuous poetry. They also provide spoons to be green and you bus your dishes back when you're done. So far, I've met Danielle and Jacob who work there. Yesterday, I had a melt down trying to figure out how to use their wi-fi. Today, I lost my work twice and ran up to two different people in the middle of their masterpieces, asking, "Do you know how I can get my work back? I lost it. I need your help." I must have looked frightful because the woman immediately said, "I don't know anything about computers." Next I approached, a theatre person, working on a script. He was wearing a gold bling music note on his argyle sweater. When he understood what I was asking he said, "You probably lost it."  Just like that, "You probably lost it."  Do you how awful it is to hear those four words, "You probably lost it."  I only spent 2 hours writing it......2 hours.  So then I started over.  I had almost restored all of it, and ......are you ready?  I lost it again.  When I tried to save it, it disappeared.  Just disappeared. Poof. Gone. Lost. Third time is a charm.  "Attention to detail," became my mantra.  I did it. I saved it. It's there. Hoorah. This probably sounds ridiculous to all you computer people who talk, text, and write at the same time.  That's not me. I can't drink coffee and write at the same time.  Well, there, I feel so much better now. I think venting is very important in preventing prostate cancer.I know.I know. It's a big reach, but I haven't used that one in awhile. ( Ha)

9/11

This has been a sad and reflective day for me as I'm sure it has been for many of you. It is one of those days where you'll never forget where you were when it happened. I was talking to a window salesman in the living room of my condo. But, to think on that day nearly 3,000 people lost their lives is still incomprehensible to me. My heart goes out to all families who lost someone that day. Although I didn't, I feel as if I had. Somehow that event changed all of us. An innocence of protection was lost. A sense of wariness began. I pray it never happens again and hope someday, one day, there will be peace throughout the world. 

Prostate Talk

I've made my first animated movie, Prostate Talk, on Youtube . Take and look. Hope you like it.

Doctor, Doctor, Mr. M.D....

I remembered the lyrics to this song but forgot the group and title. It's "Good Lovin'" by the Young Rascals, l966. (God bless Google) Stick with me. I have a point here. I've been talking to many patients who were misled by their doctors. This is especially true when it comes to prostate cancer. In another post, on Honesty, I gave the doctors a break but this time I'm not. Doctors are uncomfortable dealing with sexuality, but they are very comfortable saying,"Bend Over." Hmm.

A general answer is, "80 to 90% of my patients return to full sexual functioning within a year." I don't know where they get their statistics but this isn't true. Check out cancer forums, especially PCAI.  Doctors are in business. They make more money doing surgery. Therefore, they recommend prostate removal. I opted for surgery because I didn't have the patience for "watchful waiting." After surgery,many doctors recommend vacuums, extenders, and injections for erections. None allow for sexual spontaneity. The doctor's final recommendation is a penile implant, which is sensual for both parties. The majority of men give it a  thumbs up.  (Breathe, Ken) My point is that there are many recommendations before we get to the most successful one, a penile implant. Thanks for reading. I feel so much better now. 

I'm searchin'

myself, while listening to this oldie from 1965.  Do you remember?

Transitions.....

Mayor Rahm Emanuel

I seem to be going through one.....again. But, that is why they are called, transitions. I feel that many times I live my life as if it isn't mine. As if I have disassociated my mind from my body. I think we all do it at times without even realizing it. I'd like to say it is my imagination going into overdrive and therefore I can't focus. Luckily, I don't do it while I'm working. But during my free time, I can find myself trying to do five different things at once. It's like having constant ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and not knowing it at all. So here it is. My transition is realizing I am doing this. Trying to be more aware of it. And staying, "In The Moment," as much as I can. (This also sounds like one of the twelve steps of AA). Now I have to think if I've picked up a new addiction.

On Golden Pond

Sorry for not posting in awhile. I wish I had a better excuse other than it's summer and I love the weather and when I'm not outside, I'm working or watching movies. I think that covers it all. I don't know how many of you remember the movie, On Golden Pond, with Jane Fonda, Peter Fonda and Katherine Hepburn. It was a great movie which took place at a family summer home, which if I remember correctly was on the East coast. Stars, Peter Fonda and Katherine Hepburn, were excellent and Jane held her own. I don't why I'm writing about this. Probably because I got to go away for a few days and found it to be very relaxing and refreshing. I recommend it to all of you. I don't think this is an epiphany for anyone else other than me but I'm enjoying it. 

Couples Face Cancer

Cancer is difficult for the person going through it, but very few people think about the partner. The partner is suddenly dealing with the enemy. The disease that will change their relationship forever.....a test beyond imagination. Since prostate cancer generally hits men over fifty, although I'm reading about a lot more cases that involve younger ages, many couples have been together for more than ten years......more like twenty.  Their children are often grown and gone. Who asked cancer to come in and take residence?  No one of course, but it is there. After discovery, after decision as to how to deal with it, the recovery or the fight begins. Often the patient is depressed, using his energy coping with incontinence and possible impotence. The Doctor generally says, "It will take time."  This statement doesn't help anyone. Yet, this is generally what you hear. Unfortunately, it is true. I don't want to blame doctors, but I do wish they were more informed and more supportive. Referring the couple or the cancer-free partner to a counselor should be at the top of the Doctor's list. Each partner has to deal with many issues: alienation, isolation, fear, depression, and uncertainty. Often the relationship suffers.  Often the partner feels guilty about even wanting anything for themselves. After all, their partner is dealing with cancer. Wouldn't that be selfish? Not at all. And this is where many cancer forums and websites, indicate that the relationship is dealing with cancer. Not just one person or the other. Both people. They have dealt with other problems together and are now facing one of the most difficult. As a counselor, who has had prostate cancer, I can only say, try to find help. Reach out to friends, recovery groups, a trained therapist. They will help you realize that you are alone. It is a difficult battle. Use the help available. With help, you can face the monster. A couple is alway stronger together. Don't let cancer divide you. Unite and fight.

 

Cancer Stud .....(4)

Oscar was brought up in a era that introduced Elvis Presley, also The Temptations, and The Kingston Trio.There were groups, such as The Greasers, The Preppies, The Jocks, and The Beatniks. Oscar came from a Greaser neighborhood, went to a Preppie High School, and thought the Beatniks were cool. This became of concern especially when he obsessively tried to style his hair. Now a teenager, he outgrew his golf ball bouncing. He tried the DA, referring to a Duck's Ass, The waterfall, and buzzcut.

 Each cut required different clothes and since his family had little of it, he often found himself shopping with his buddy, Louie, on the East Side, where he could find bargains at Robert Hall, Federal's, Crowley's, and small shoe stores that offered weekly sales. No matter what outfit Oscar found, he did not seem to impress his fellow classmates. Most of them were jocks or intellectuals. He finally discovered, to his surprise, that he loved to dance. Sock hops became his life. He found it was a great way to meet girls because most guys couldn't dance and most girls wanted to dance. He did the: Pony, Monkey, Swim, Twist, Watusi, and whatever else came down the pike. 

He watched American Bandstand to learn some of the smooth moves,which unfortunately, became the name of a popular laxative in his later years. But then again, he was a trend setter. He introduced The Penguin, which had it's run as dances. Later he created a mock social club, SCOA, which meant Scrap Club Of America. It grew and he designed logos for sweatshirts.

  

                                                             The Club took group trips to Boblo Island, an amusement park near Detroit. Everyone enjoyed both the boat ride and the island. There was a small band and bar on the boat and people drank and danced, usually through the whole trip.

Oscar disliked sports, but he did like going to the gym, especially the locker room. The smell of sweat, dirty uniforms, and jock straps seemed strangely appealing. At that time, Oscar didn't know why. He had been  indoctrinated by the nuns and knew it was a mortal sin to touch himself or others or to have impure thoughts or desires. He found that although these were sins, he couldn't help himself. His member seemed to be in a constant state of arousal. Little did he know, 99% of his classmates went through the same thing. They were male teenagers. 

Choices: Dealing With Prostate Cancer

As I follow the Prostate Cancer forums, I see that there are several men who have recently been diagnosed and are wondering about the best way to deal with the prostate cancer. I know this is a difficult time for you. It was for me. Do your research. Try not to panic. And once you've made your decision, don't look back. So much depends on your situation. You must deal with your Gleason score, biopsy results, and the advice of your doctor. I hate to generalize, but doctors, especially urologists, suggest surgery. I eventually decided on robot assisted prostatectomy. It was not an easy choice but I'm glad that is what I chose. Three years, post op, I am still in remission, and with the help of the forums, other groups, and a good therapist, have accepted the situation and moved on. This worked for me.  It may not necessarily work for you.  It's difficult to give a blanket statement as to what works best. Talk to others, go to prostate cancer survivor groups, read, read, read, and research. Try to get as many consultations as you can and once you feel well informed, make your decision. I was one of those people who didn't want to live with the knowledge that I had cancer and it could metastasize. Realize it is your body and you have the right to deal with the cancer whichever way you choose. Be brave, have courage, and trust your gut feelings. That is generally your best guide.

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, And......

I try to be as honest as I can in my posts. Most of the times, I try to stay upbeat, but there are times when it's not always that easy.  This is one of them.  As some of you know, I am a writer and cancer survivor. I have written a book, entitled, Bagel, Bagel, Crunch That Kegel (a humorous approach to dealing with prostate cancer). What I haven't talked about here is that my book was with a publisher and that I had done a few rewrites, worked on my platform, and contacted people for recommendations. Then I started the waiting and waiting and waiting. For those of you familiar with publishing, this is not unusual, for those of you who aren't, the time can seem endless. What many people don't know is that publishing can take at least two years, if not more. Publishers are overwhelmed with manuscripts and do the best they can and there is no rushing the process. I am familiar with this because I have been an actor and auditioned many times and know that rejections are part of the process. You can't take it personally. It's not about your work, it's about a type, a whim, a mood of the director. Regardless, sometimes you get a part and most of the times you don't. So, what am I saying. My manuscript was accepted, they held on to it for nine months, and last week I received the, "As much as we like your work, we do not think we will be accepting it for the list...."  What I learned is that you have to have a contract or you don't have an agreement. You must be patient and you have to roll with the punches. Was I depressed, did it feel like a rabbit punch, did I stay in bed longer than I should have.....yes, yes, and yes. The publisher is most likely going bankrupt, which is something I didn't and couldn't know.  But, it is time to move on. I have started to look at other small presses and am getting ready for my next attempt. I have also decided to start on another book because you can't sit around and wait for the rejections. You have to stay busy and the best way is to start on another book. I write this for me, but I also write it for you. For those of you deciding on treatment options, researching doctors, dealing with incontinence and impotency. No one can predict the future. You can only do your research, make your best decision and hope for the best. In a lot of ways, it's a "crap shoot." As far as the publishing industry, my book may or not be hitting at the right time and place. That is out of my control.....There is a lot out of our control.  Nothing we can do anything about. That being so, worrying about it is a waste of time. We can only do our best, do our homework, and pray. If you don't pray, hope.  Always keep hope alive. It allows you to get through it and move forward, hopefully. 

Freedom Heals

It's Friday and I always think it's nice to start the weekend with something positive. I recently read some excerpts from Bernie Siegel's new book, Book of Miracles which led me to Jeff Guidry's experience with a bald eagle named Freedom. His relationship with the eagle was reciprocal. While he helped the eagle to heal, the eagle helped him to heal while he recovered from Non Hodgkins Lymphoma.It lead to his book, An Eagle Named Freedom.  It's inspiring.

Hang On Little Tomato....Pink Martini

I love this song.  It's so nostalgic and plays over and over in your head.

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True...

Recently, I read about an auction where you could land an I Pad for under $100. It could be acquired by being in an auction where you could bid and if you were lucky, you could be the winner. As a writer, I thought how wonderful to get an I Pad for less than $100. Readers beware, be very beware. I read that if I signed up by the end of that day I would be given 152 free bids and if I rushed, I would be given another 25 bids, free. Sounds great, right? Figured I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. 5 days later, I was sent an e-mail congratulating me on my recent purchase of $99.00. What purchase? I sent them an e-mail. No response. Today, I called and was told the offer was very clear and I had purchased so many bids but because I was unclear, they would only charge me $49.00. I wouldn't accept that and wanted to speak to a supervisor and said I would dispute it. After a few more delays and protests, they finally agreed to give me a full refund. A refund for something I never bought. I  am writing this post is to say stay clear of a company called, Grabswag. Do not, do not, fall their gimmicks. As usual, if it sounds too good.....you know the rest.  Avoid, Grabswag.  Oh, and btw, did I say, avoid Grabswag. 

Dog Days Of Summer....

They are here and I'm going to make the best of them. Got my shades, tanning oil, sunblock, flip-flops, cell, hat, now......if I  could just get Ken to stop bothering me.......

Stay Gentle And Kind

Such a difficult thing to do in today's society and yet is it?  We are exposed to so much grit and gore, it seems impossible to get rid of it, no matter what we do.  And yet, and yet, it is possible. I just finished watching, "So You Think You Can Dance," and the performances were brilliant and the dancers were dedicated to their art. That is where I see the gentleness and kindness. In our arts.....in creativity....in striving to do one's best, no matter what life throws at us. There are times I say, "Why me?" and maybe the answer is because you can handle it, even though I feel I can't. Think about where you were five years ago and where you are now. Things have changed, whether for bad or worse, but they have changed and we have adapted. It's not easy but I think if one absorbs and adjusts, rather than fight the enemy, one can survive. The enemy may be cancer, a bad relationship, depression, bankruptcy and they may seem unsurmountable, but isn't it better to fight with kindness than with rancor and hate. I think so. I know I find it hard to do at times but the choices aren't good. Bitterness, complaining, selfishness. I know I have been in those bottom three a number of times and it doesn't make me feel better. When I take a moment and am gentle and kind , I find I am in touch with God. A God that makes me remember there is more in the world than me. Think about it. Try it.  Kiss someone close to you, smile at someone who looks forlorn, say a kind word to someone who needs it. Make the world a better place.

Integrity

We've all heard the word, but how does it apply to today's world.  According to Wikipedia, it refers to the honesty, truthfulness and accuracy of one's.actions. It is often considered the opposite of hypocrisy. I believe that today, hypocrisy has become so common, we've forgotten what integrity is. We know it when we hear or see it, but it is no longer considered expected. Hearing the President's speech about passing an acceptable budget asking everyone to make some sacrifices, rather than counting on the middle class, is a perfect example. Washington's decisions could effect the world's economy, not just ours. At this point of time, the last thing we need is a default of the American economy, higher interest rates, and a loss of more jobs. I find it hard to believe that some members of Congress refuse to cooperate in order to prove their point or stick it to the President. We're not in the sandbox anymore. We are adults who need to remember the importance of the right decision, the decision that shows that as a Nation, we have integrity.  This decision will affect many of our programs, including health, education, and  services. I no longer care what your ideology is, I care that you follow your heart and do the right thing. You'll know what that is if you have integrity. 

Erectile Dysfunction Breakthrough

The FDA recently approved a device that may be helpful to those with mild to moderate ED. It will be sold this summer.  Although I have not used it, I think it is worth looking into. The company states that it is safe and has no side effects.  If it brings circulation to the area and works with the autonomic nerve system, this could be a breakthrough for all who suffer from ED.

Ain' Got No......I Got Life

One of all time favorites.......You're right.  It's Saturday night and it's time to party.....Let's dance.

Oscar's Sadness

As we continue Oscar's path, he is about to enter high-school, and he wanted to review his life up to this point. (He was having existential struggles at the age of thirteen) "How do I leave my legacy? Does philosophy and nihilism exist. Or is that a construct I've invented to cope with this existence?" As you can see, Oscar thought outside the box. 

But the sadness is not over these matters. He knew the nuns liked him. They even let him see  their Little Infant Of Prague ( a rare site even for Oscar).

The Little Infant reigns supreme in one of the nooks of the nunnery. They treat him as if he were alive. (Lucky Oscar. He got to see their behavior early in life and thought of nuns as holy, although holy may not be the exact word he was thinking. The reason for Oscar's sadness concerned The Rapture. The nuns wanted to see God in their lifetime. If that person actually did, he would be considered a saint, and as much as Oscar tried, he could not see Him. Once, Oscar thought he saw God riding a Harley. Later, everyone realized he had a high fever and chills and was just hallucinating. So Oscar was sad he was not a saint at thirteen. He finally decided that if were not a saint by the age of sixteen, he would give up his dream. It would be sad but, "Who's on the phone? Tell Dennis I'll be right there." Oscar decided there was no reason to be sad. His friend was on the phone and Oscar wanted to make plans for Saturday night. (To be continued...)

Grateful....

I recently went through some serious back pain. Actually, I am still experiencing it. And I tend to forget how fragile I am. We all are. Health is something we take for granted until we get sick. After that, it all becomes relative. Hopefully, I'll be feeling better soon. It has made me stop some doing some of the things I take for granted. Moving a sofa, lifting my dog, carrying groceries). So for all you out there who are healthy and for those of you who are not, take a moment. We don't always have to be busy. Take time to listen, breathe, smell the flowers. It's a beautiful world. Especially if we take time to enjoy it.

Cameras......

I've been through a number of cameras in my life and the last one was a digital.  I always ask the same questions: "Is it easy to use?  Is it Mac compatible? Of course after a demonstration, I come home and have no idea what he said.  But here's my point.  Back in the '50's, they were making great cameras. Every detail showed and if it was too dark you used a flash. We passed through poloroid cameras, where the film cost more than the camera. I went through college without many pics, and then more time passed

and the digital came out.  

I recently went to a party and one of my cousins snapped a few and asked me how I liked them.  I didn't. No wonder they put in that delete button.  I sure use that a lot.  Another thing is that photos seem to show sagging flesh, sagging. Now, I know that isn't accurate. When I shave in the morning, I think not bad.  Then I get a pic taken and say, "That's bad." That's when I decided it's not me, it's the camera. My cousin, Butch said, "It doesn't make you more handsome."  Maybe not, but it's not supposed to make you that old either.  So, I don't see any point of pics,  unless they are of birdlife or flowers.