I then went outside and did the only mature thing I could think of threw it down on the sidewalk with all the force I could muster. I picked it up. Nothing. So, I did it again. NOTHING.
I went outside and threw it on the concrete a few more times until a quarter of the outside skin began to split and I finally was able to get inside and get the milk. I had to put it in a bowl and then strain it so that the shredded pulp wouldn't get in the way.
And here is the result:
And now I know why tree trimmers leave them on the side of the road. Who would want them?