Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Premature Retaliation

When I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer, I was angry.  Angry at my body, my situation, my life.  The sad part was that I didn't realize I was angry.
                                
If I was in line and there was a "price check," I would say something like, "Next time pick up an item that can be scanned."  Luckily, I was only met by looks of disbelief.  In hindsight, someone could have decked me or slashed me. I didn't care that the person looked shady, was 6' 4,' and weighed 280. I'd get out of line, leave my items, and even go to another store; not thinking that if I had just waited, I would have been finished.  Once, I said, "I have cancer.  I don't have time for this." Diagnosis can wreak havoc on both your physical and emotional health. I began having panic attacks. I was prescribed xanax. Luckily, this period was short lived.  Once I had my surgery, these attacks seemed to disappear.  Maybe it had something to do with the fact I no longer had a prostate gland.  Now, I had to fight depression.  The point of this post, is that 2010 is coming to a close.  I think a lot of people start to look back at the year and what transpired.  This all took place in 2008.  Rather than counting blessings, I count battles. Not the ones I lost, but the ones I won. (Incontinence, impotence, cancer) For that, I am thankful.

No comments:

Post a Comment