Thursday, May 10, 2012

Adventures of a Cancer Stud

Oscar soon learned that there is a price for fame. He had gone from a life of being a recluse to one of being a star. Paparazzi appeared no matter where he went.

Even if he went to the local grocery store for a loaf of bread and milk. Of course, Oscar knew he had always wanted to be well endowed and wanted people to chase after him. But, it took a lot of time and effort. He had to deal with questions like, "How does it feel to have one of the biggest tools in the world?" Do you find you enjoy sex more?  Do you plan on getting a bigger version?" The answers were: cumbersome, absolutely, and no.

Oscar had always liked clothes even if they fit badly and came from the cheaper outlets. Now, he found that his waist was the same but his inseam had increased a foot. None of his pants fit, unless he wanted to look like he was advertising his wares. He finally had to find a tailor, but even he was curious. This led to another search for someone who would not be impressed or curious. She came from a small Romanian village where size was never noticed. Men often put bottles of vodka in their pockets so they could have a taste whenever they wanted and consequently they all looked well-endowed. Also the women did most of the chores and were so exhausted by the end of the day, the last thing they wanted was sex. Nanika measured accurately and was an excellent seamstress.

Oscar went from looking like a schlump to appearing like a Wall Street banker. Now, even though people knew who he was they didn't fixate on his crotch. (That wasn't true. It just wasn't obvious to those who searched.) This was especially important when he made a TV appearance. Cameramen liked to zero in on that area as the host asked him about his appendage. Oscar usually wore an oversized shirt unless he was coming on  OPRAH or THE VIEW.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DczrNOwRmew Joy and Sheri enjoyed sitting close to him, Elizabeth blushed and he noticed even Whoopi and Barbara seemed overly cheerful . Oprah announced, "HERE'S OSCAR." He kept trying to tell them that prostate cancer was the only reason he was there, but they didn't want to hear that.

 As I mentioned, Oscar was gay and wondered why the women still were interested. Then he realized that a lot of male movie stars, even though they had families and considered very masculine, were also gay. It was so common that on the talk show circuit, very few people bothered to acknowledge it. It was then that Oscar began to wonder why he thought it was so important to have such a "big one." Of course there was the exhibitionist factor. When he went to the gym, the showers suddenly filled up and more men snuck glances and crowded around him.
Oscar sought out a good therapist who specialized in size issues....and charged $1,000 an hour. There was a time when Oscar would have laughed at the cost but now that he was famous, it no longer mattered. He often felt used and wondered how many people liked him for his fame, or even worse,  his Dong. His therapist was working with him to accept himself and it was a tough process.













THE VIEW

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