Tenderness almost sounds like an antiquated term. We all know what it means but how often do we practice it? For me, tenderness means dropping my outside image and allowing myself to be vulnerable. It can be as easy as giving a hug, a kiss, a knowing smile. I do believe women find it easier to do but men can learn how. It means giving up "control", allowing yourself to be in the moment, and being sensitive. An important part of making love is speech or touch. Telling your partner how beautiful they are, how special they are to you and why you need them are a few suggestions. Men are often in a rush since they can be up and finished within 20 minutes, whereas women need longer to be aroused. Men need to take their time and to think of their partner's pleasure. I'll never forget a friend saying to me "you know what makes a good lover"? Of course I wanted to know and the answer was very simple, "Do whatever it takes to please your partner."
And here comes that awful word, "communication". Couples need to talk to each other about their needs. Married couples can go through years and never talk about their likes or dislikes. A partner can't read your mind. If you tell them, they know what to do. It's time for me to get off my soapbox. Try something different today, try a little "tenderness."
