Time And Punishment

I was taught by Felician nuns for 8 years. This was back in the 50's, and definitely a different time. Yet, for the Felicians they were very busy teaching and disciplining us. They had there own sense of morality and it was very strict.  You could not talk, or walk, or run if they didn't think you should. If you did, you might get punished. Punishment often came in the form of a swift punch, or being hit with a ruler, or slammed with a pointer. This was considered acceptable because they were disciplining us, according to our families. Anyone who has been taught by nuns remembers it.  It's impossible to forget it. But now that I am older, I wonder how healthy that really was. It seemed everything was wrong.  If it wasn't a mortal sin, it was a venial sin and I always seemed to be sinning.  All of us did, according to them. Of course, there was confession, to cleanse our souls. But I keep coming back to the word punishment. I wonder how many others incorporated punishment into their value systems. I often question my actions or words, hoping they don't hurt others. What I often forget, is that others may be hurting me. In a way, I think the nuns made us expect punishment. Punishment for everything. What they have left me with is self-punishment. It is often difficult to reward myself. I often don't feel I deserve it. I've become better with this, but I wonder if what they did wasn't more of a crime of the time. Think about it. Yes, they taught us, but at what price?  I almost feel guilty for writing this but not guilty enough or I wouldn't be doing it. For any of you reading this who went through similar experiences, I encourage you to reward yourself for difficult tasks. You may be the only one doing it and you deserve it.