Beauty In Art.....

A friend recently sent this to me. Watch Kseniya Simonova create her images.

My Life In Five Events.....

I recently read about a creative writing professor, James O'Laughlin at Northwestern University, who used some very unusual methods to tap into the Jungian unconscious. I wish I could describe the method more knowledgeably, but the essence of it was that we often choose the most significant ones. Think about it. If someone were to say to you, give me five events that would define yourself up to this point, what would you come up with? I think it's interesting. For me, one of them would have to be prostate cancer. Try it and see what yours are. If you want, share it with me. 

Adventures of a Cancer Stud (Fame and Fortune)

For those of you unfamiliar with the Adventures of a Cancer Stud, Oscar was just a skinny guy from Detroit, who had a strict Catholic upbringing. Consequently,Oscar was inhibited and some might even say introverted. His fellow classmates had nicknamed him, "Puny."

As time went on, he married, divorced, and developed prostate cancer. Each left a scar on Oscar's soul. After having his cancer treated and given a good prognosis, you would think he would be happy, but not so. He still felt empty and withdrawn. He sought therapy and finally decided to get a large penile implant After that his life changed completely.

He became a sex icon idolized by both sexes. Finally, Oscar has an epiphany and realized he had talent. He became more self-confident. The last time we left Oscar, his renditions of Kelly Clarkson's "What Doesn't Kill You...", Tim McGraw's, "Felt Good On My Lips," Snoop Dog's, "Drop It Like It's Hot." and his rendition of Aretha's, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," snagged him the title of the star with the X Factor. 

Of course, we don't know if it was his songs or his implant that people noticed. Even Simon was heard to exclaim, "Oh my God." Oscar soon learned that once you are recognized, you should take advantage of your fame. Publicity is free and Oscar used it to champion his notoriety, but Oscar made some bad choices.

Simon, allegedly took Oscar under his wing, and suggested he  develop his own line of penis pumps and extenders for those men who couldn't afford an implant. But, Oscar learned that the products he promoted did not give lasting results. In fact, most men said that they felt like torture devices. Word came out that Oscar was being sued and that he was a quack. This was not the first time Oscar had experienced bullying and rejection. This time, he could fight back. Realizing the error of his ways, Oscar decided to give away his new found riches. If Gates and Oprah could do it, so could he. Oscar formed a Foundation dealing with prostate cancer and abandoned dogs. Oscar had rescued a black pug and encouraged others to help. 

But, charity is endless. Oscar soon learned that there were many needing help and he must make choices. When he attempted to limit it to prostate awareness and education, he soon found that groups  purportedly helping, often misspent or discriminated. He decided to support the programs that had already established themselves, such as "Grow Your Mustache," headed by Adam Garone's Movember movement. and the numerous patient support groups throughout the world. He decided to speak to Arianna of The Huffington Post. She was beautiful, intelligent, and powerful. If anyone could bring awareness to prostate cancer, it would be Arianna Huffington.

Finally, Oscar had a purpose. 

Penis invention........

Watch this to see the penis invention that is not only practical but fashionable.......

Thinking about......

I have been writing about my own experiences to give people facing prostate cancer an idea of  what they may face.  I see that people from all over the world have tuned in and taken a look at some of my posts and I am grateful. But today, I have been wondering about the incidence of pc in other parts of the world. As illustrated by this graph most reported cases exist in Australia/New Zealand, Western Europe, Northern Europe, Northern America, and the Caribbean. Although it also exists in other parts of the world, there seems to be a diminished incidence, which may be due to a number of variables, depending on testing, education, and awareness, to name a few. But my point is that I have received very little feedback from people in both the United States and abroad.  In an attempt to share knowledge and eventually diminish this disease, I am extending an invitation for anyone who has/had pc to share their experiences and let us all know about positives, negatives, recovery, challenges, and needs.There are a number of world wide agencies and one that seems to be succinct and promising can be found at the following. Some of the graphs seem complicated but near the end there are some key questions as to the future of screening vs. non-screening and treatments. I found these results helpful.But today, I reach out to all of you and ask you to get involved and share, as part of One Human Family. Please respond to this post. Empower yourselves to help save lives.  Thank you.

One Human Family.....

We've all been there and think, "Why now, why me, what else?" I personally think it's not what's thrown at us as much as our ability to handle it. That ability has become completely worn down. Whether it's health, business, a relationship, family, career, or death, it's hard. Any one of those is very difficult and some of us have had to deal with two, three, or more at a time. I bring this up because I think personally, I have been very lucky. Yes, I've had prostate cancer, and yes, I've been depressed, and I have experienced all the others as well. Somehow, by the grace of God, I've gotten through them and believe me, there have been times when I didn't think I would. And, I can't say it was one particular thing that got me through. I think it's inherent in each of us, that regardless of what we've been thrown, we want to survive. It may not be in the same body or the same realm of functioning as we had before, but that doesn't mean we are useless. It's a shift. It's an adjustment. 

One that can and will be made. It will be made on your own terms and on your own time schedule. You will decide what you can do, what you can handle and how you will handle it. Listen to others, weigh their words, and if you can't use them, discard them. You are the one in charge of your own life. You can and will be able to still contribute to the world in your own way. It is your responsibility to do it. Each of us is here to fulfill some destiny. Our life has meaning, regardless of what we do, because we touch each other's lives in so many ways. How wonderful, if we gave it some conscious choice and tried to help another person in need. 

In Key West, we live by the maxim, "ONE HUMAN FAMILY." And when you think about it, isn't that we are all about? 

Hey Bubba......

In Key West, which is part of the South, the word "bubba" can be taken a number of ways, sometimes as a term of endearment and sometimes not.  Since I have been addressed as "bubba" a few times in the last couple of weeks, I have decided to accept it as a friendly term. The word , bubba, has been used in other countries, such as New Zealand and Australia, and means "baby." Before I came here from Illinois, I often associated bubba as negative, a white trash connotation. But, there have been some very good bubbas, President Bill Clinton, for one, and Bubba in Forrest Gump.

President Clinton

Bubba Gump

Bubba Watson

What else do we know about bubbas?  Bubba Watson is known for winning a Master cup in 2012 and is originally from Bagdad, Florida. President Clinton has won world acclaim for being one of our best presidents. Bubba The Love Sponge sounds like a complete jerk, but with a name like "Love Sponge" what would you expect?

Bubba The Love Spong

The unknown bubba is someone I would associate as "good ol' boy bubba" from my frame of reference.

Generic Bubba

So what do I have in common with these bubbas and what does it have to with prostate cancer?  A very good question. Bubbas seem to span the scale of taste and achievements. I do know President Clinton had very serious heart problems which I believe was from eating such bubba foods as cheeseburgers and fries, probably grits and gravy, and spareribs. 

My conclusion is that: being called bubba in Florida is a good thing. It means I have acclimated to some degree to a new environment, one must (not really) learn to blend in. I think I am more relaxed and a bit tanner, which means I am less stressed. Stress inflames body tissue and decreases the ability of the immune system to fight disease. Therefore, being called bubba is healthy and endearing (if you live in the South).  So, c'mon down and join the Bubba Revolution. 

Happiness is Dance or Closing the Condo

This last weekend, I closed on my condo. For any of you that have gone through the process, it is a long and stressful period, especially these days.  Or maybe, just maybe, I doubt it very much, but then again, you never know, it could, but it's unlikely, so I'll just throw it out there, it could be ME.

So, I am happy, and what do I do when I'm happy, that's right, I dance.  I've been dancing in my apartment, down the streets, up the stairs, down the stairs, in the rain, on the beach, in the clubs, at the gas station, in the bathroom ((not true, on that one)), while writing, while walking my dog.  You get the idea. To indicate how others have danced in the past, take a look at this link of dances through time.

(Thanks Cindy). 

Adventures Of A Cancer Stud (Oscar & Simon) 2013

For those of you unaware of Oscar and The Adventures as a Cancer Stud, here are the Cliff Notes.

Oscar grew up as a loner and troubled  child. After discovering he was able to get good grades and dance (he gyrated to The Twist, The Chicken, The Pony, and Watusi, he decided not all was lost. In those moments, he threw himself into wild abandon and forgot about his acne, his flaws, his Catholicism.

He finished college after majoring in sexuality.Eventually he met a woman who claimed to adore him, so he married her. Soon, he discovered she was unable to give him love and only married him to have an audience (she claimed she was a movie star). After a divorce, he began taking art classes and found himself attracted to another man.

He did not want to admit he was gay, but it could be true. Just when he was about to explore this, he discovered he had prostate cancer. After surgery and recovery, Oscar felt even more miserable then he did before. He decided to have a penile implant and decided to get the "super-size" version. Suddenly, he got noticed. He was followed, chased, stalked by both sexes. At first, it was daunting, but he began to be asked to be a guest on the talk show circuit, Oprah, Barbara, David, Jay, even Jimmy asked him to appear.

But eventually, this wore thin, and Oscar knew he had to expand his horizons. After trying every therapy that existed, he was left with two choices, either consulting with the Dalai Lama or auditioning for the X factor and impressing Simon Cowell, which brings us to Oscar's latest adventure.

Although he knew he needed spiritual guidance, Oscar had been intrigued by the shallowness of

"show business."  He knew it was because he had always felt unpopular, but he was sick of having these "insights" and decided to go for the glitz and glamor.

He auditioned in Atlanta, where he was able to combine it with a speech he was giving to his brothers of penile implants. BOPI, which was starting to gain momentum in the US.

Since he needed to develop an image, he auditioned with, "Big Hunk O' Love."  Simon commented, "Interesting song choice. I couldn't help but notice you are taking advantage of your ...gift. You are going on to the next round."

Oscar was overwhelmed but knew he had to "act cool" or he could get booted. In the following weeks, Oscar got to the top 20, then the top 10, and now he was in the top 5, and finally the top 2. His song choices had been edgy, Kelly Clarkson's "What Doesn't Kill You...", Tim McGraw's, "Felt Good On My Lips," Snoop Dog's, "Drop It Like It's Hot." But his rendition of Aretha's, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," snagged him the title of the star with the X Factor. 

                       Life was good.

Men asking for help

Yesterday I wrote about Prostate Cancer Depression and how difficult it is for men to ask for help. Today a friend shared an e-mail entitled, Went Fishing, Caught 4 deer.  I thought of the drowning deer as depressed men and the only time they will ask for help is when they're drowning, you'll see my point here. (I know it's another one of my stretches)  If you don't see it, it's still a nice story....

Went Fishing, Caught 4 Deer

A once in the history of mankind kind of thing. The Best Day Of Fishing Ever!

Some fishing stories are a little hard to believe, but this guy has pictures to prove his story...

I've heard of salmon jumping into boats, but never anything quite like this...

Tom Satre told the Sitka Gazette that he was out with a charter group on his 62-foot fishing vessel. When four juvenile black-tailed deer swam directly toward his boat.

"Once the deer reached the boat, the four began to circle the boat, looking directly at us. We could tell right away that the young bucks were distressed.

I opened up my back gate and we helped the typically skittish and absolutely wild animals onto the boat. In all my years fishing, I've never seen anything quite like it!

Once onboard, they collapsed with exhaustion, shivering.

This is a picture I took of the rescued bucks on the back of my boat, the Alaska Quest.

We headed for Taku Harbour . Once we reached the dock, the first buck that we had been pulled from the water hopped onto the dock, looked back as if to say 'thank you' and disappeared into the forest.

After a bit of prodding and assistance, two more followed, but the smallest deer needed a little more help.

This is me carrying the little guy.

My daughter, Anna, and son, Tim, helped the last buck to its feet. We didn't know how long they had been in the icy waters or if there had been others who did not survive. My daughter later told me that the experience was something that she would never forget, and I suspect the deer felt the same way as well!"   I told you! Awesome... huh?

"Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear." - Mark Twain

My point is when your man is drowning, invite him into your boat. If he won't come, let him drown.....lol.....just kidding.

PCD......Prostate Cancer Depression

I know I've talked about this in the past but I'm starting to see the subject come up again in the forums. After diagnosis, research, and surgery, men often become depressed. Much of this is due to the side effects of prostate such as incontinence and erectile dysfunction.  I know after my surgery, I became depressed, and unfortunately it is a "sliding slope." 

Not doing anything about it often causes a deeper depression. In reality, there are symptoms which seem insurmountable and no man wants to admit to impotence. Often function will return.  It is very important to seek support or counseling during this, and if possible both.  I went to a therapist and also joined a support group. Both helped me. Unfortunately, most of us don't want to admit something is wrong.  Denial is a great defense but it doesn't work. Our friends, family, and partners know what's going on. It helps so much if you can open up to someone and start talking.  Support groups such as USTOO, which meets in a number of different locations, can be very helpful. There is a period of adjustment and this takes time and patience. Your life may not be the same, but it can still be fulfilling. Choices such as VED (vacuum pump), injections, alternative methods can be discussed. It is important to realize there is hope. It is not the end. Please don't give up. With time and help, you can conquer this.

Peacock Vow.....or Resolutions for the New Year...

New Year's was 3 days ago and if that is any indication, I'm off to a slow or too busy to write start. Resolutions never work for me so I don't make them.  If they don't work for you either, I strongly encourage you to forget about them. Who started resolutions, anyway?

Nine Worthies

In my research, I was able to uncover that. for one: resolutions can be associated to the Nine Worthies (3 Christians, 3 Jews, and 3 pagans; literary, scriptural, and historical personages who represented honor, valor and chivalry) In the Middle Ages, knights took the Peacock Vow renewing their commitment to chivalry. BTW, I have no idea why I am writing about peacocks, knights, and chivalry.

Most resolutions are concerned with weight, exercise, compatibility, brotherhood, or relaxation. 

Said, done, and forgotten. Shake up your year and take the chivalrous Peacock Vow.

Pug Christmas.......

Happy Holidays Everyone,

Here I am in another stupid Santa hat. I try to look cute on the first pic to get it over with faster.  What do you think?

This year I'm in Key West which is not so bad. I do miss the snow but you know how my master is about that...... They do have a lot of lights down here. I mean on the houses......Now, why didn't he send you a picture of that...da....
.

The trip down wasn't bad.  Have done that before but after that it got hairy.....lol....like me.. a dog.....lol.....I'm running around in a circle, it's so funny......oh....I guess it's a dog joke.  

Anyway, lived in 3 hotels, 10 rooms, then a place where the landlord turned out to be a crazy person. Licking my foot now....lol.... Finally, we found a place. (pause........just took a small nap).. Oh, the place.... It's OK.  Small compared to my place in Chicago but where's my furniture?  I'm still waiting.  No couch, none of my familiar chairs.  Thank God, he brought my old toys.  

Gotta go.......I smell food....yum.....yum......woof, woof......love ya,

Nate the Dog

Gifts......

For the most part, the gifts have been given, the cards sent, and the frenzy subsided. As we all know, the wonder is in the eyes of the children but, what about our wonder?  As I read some of the posts of my fellow prostate survivors, I see some are happy that they have some functioning, others that they have become closer with their partners, while others strive to survive.

This magical season is about the wonder: the wonder of birth, the wonder of renewal, the wonder of love. I know I often get caught up in shopping, decorating, cooking......the list is endless.  But now that the day is over, the spirit continues. The spirit of appreciating what we have and what we can give. It's not about the presents. It's about the spirit. Knowing that a smile to someone may be the best gift he has received all day. A pleasant greeting to a stranger may renew her spirit.  A compliment to someone working the holidays may be just what the person needed to get through their shift.

Remember the gifts that we can always give but often forget. They may take some effort and time but they are the real gifts of the season. Keep giving.

Merry Christmas Everyone.....Hallelujah.

I've been out of commission for awhile and I'll explain it in another post soon.  I promise.  And to those who follow my blog, I apologize.

But this is Christmas Eve....a time I remember being with family, sharing hugs, and the Polish tradition of breaking a small piece of wafer (oplatek) and going to each person and wishing each "health, hope and happiness for the future." Now that I'm older and more sentimental ( I think I was always sentimental but I wasn't always older) I miss that tradition but I haven't forgotten the memories. Those memories live on and I know the tradition continues tonight with my family ( I can't be with them) and many other families throughout the world.  

Hope, Health, and Happiness

So, to you and yours, I wish you the best and hope your dreams come true.  Count your blessings and all those little things we tend to take for granted. Thank you all for reading my blog. 

In the meantime, celebrate as the people of the small Yupiq Eskimo Village of  Quinhagak, Alaska. 

It was a school computer project intended for the other Yupiq villages in the area. Much to the villagers' shock, over a half million people have viewed it.

Use: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=LyviyF-N23A

Meaning of Life...

Recently, I learned that my cousin had a stroke,while having brain surgery. She is recuperating and hopefully, with time, hard work, and prayers she will return to normal. Nicole is a fighter and definitely has the determination to do it. Her brother, Chris, has overcome incredible challenges(chris-alt-delete) and I'm sure she will too. She comes from a very brave and loving family.

Although this is not in the same category, my dog looked like he was having a seizure yesterday, and I rushed him to the emergency dog clinic where he stayed the night. I picked him up this morning and he seems to be fine. Apparently something he got into and ate. My point is that I don't think I take the time to realize how precious life is until something happens. I know I'm not alone.  The point of this post is that it is very important for me to try to stay in the moment.

I've been concentrating on my move to Key West which has been my dream for sometime. There are so many details that I got lost in all the minutia. Pack the boxes, donate the furniture, get receipts, change address, etc. that I forgot why I was doing all that.  Frustrated, exhausted, anxious....all of that and more but the final outcome will be Key West.

And so I say how important it is not to get lost in the details and remember the goal. The person is the same person, the dog is the same dog, I am the same me.....

I say to myself, "Take a deep breath, send a note to my cousin, pet my dog.....show your love NOW.

THAT'S WHAT IS IMPORTANT.

I'm Still Hot.....

As I approach the Big Day, I came across this video of Betty White and Luciana and felt I had to post it.  For all of us who ever doubted we were "still hot" as we approached those "golden years", Betty White assures us to rap and eat cheese cake     .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5phqDvrWNZc&feature=autoplay&list=PL3841A0E479803E64&playnext=1

Vampires and Zombies

WHICH DO YOU PREFER?

There seems to an obsession with vampires and zombies. I know that I went through all of Anne Rice's

vampire books and can't turn down a good/bad zombie movie. And the rage continues in the media, so I know it's not just me. 

I said I'd deal with prostate issues in this blog, so bare with me. Immortality and sex sound appealing at first, don't they? But, then I thought more about it and what if a vampire went after me and turned me while I had prostate cancer? Would I end up being a prostate sucking vampire? And what about worry? Immortality doesn't obliterate worry. Everlasting worry.  Think about it. 

Pleasure Passes

Plus, I think immortality is over-rated. The undead don't seem very happy to me. They are stuck at that age forever, constantly scaring, chasing, and eating humans. I don't mean to be irreverent about human suffering... It sucks..  But immortality doesn't sound so great either.

The Journey Is The Destination

Sorry I've been away so long......I got distracted with things that seemed important at the time, like minor surgery, recovery, self-pity and then the realization that I'm alive again. During this process, the phrase, "The journey is the destination" popped into my consciousness. I've heard this so many times and  often discarded it as another trite psycho-babble phrase, which is ironic since I'm a therapist and can plead guilty to having used it. But just recently, I understood it. I mean really understood it. You know how you can hear or say things and not really pay attention to them  (I know I do, maybe you don't, but I do....an aside you probably don't need, but I'm into word counts these days). 

When I get depressed (it does happen), I wonder, "What have I accomplished. Nothing really. I'm not rich, famous, or successful (that's when I'm really depressed and I need to shake it off, talk to a friend, or hug my dog, sometimes all three)." That's when I realize the profundity of the above post.(It's profound for me, OK?) We all are on a journey, each and everyone of us. We all make choices, take a road less travelled, and use cliches (lol). It's not the destination we need to enjoy because that's the same for everyone in the end. It's the journey. We can control some of it. We can make new choices. We can create our own world. It may be crooked, linear, or sharp, but it is ours. It is most likely different from what we wanted it to be, but that's OK. It's OK because we created it. It just is. It can be anything, even redundant. 

Here's Looking At You, kid....

Hi Everyone,

Nate the dog here. Haven't had a chance to visit because he's too busy with life..he should be more like 

me. Eat, crap, sleep.. (I should write a book about that) .a dog's life isn't bad. Sometimes, I like to play with my toys..Sometimes I hide them and he can't find them. He's a bit compulsive you know, so that's fun.  Summer's been hot but who's complaining. I like hot except for walks. I pant a little and he takes me right in and feeds me. I've got him so well trained. Just wanted to check in. (name the movie in the post....and you get a sweet potato treat)