Christmas time is truly here
Plumbers bang all night long
My sewer line did clog
I'll pretend nothing's wrong
I'll bake some fresh cookies
It will kill the smell
How about a small drink
Down the bottle, what the hell
Let's all do the Christmas Can-Can
Here's the real story:
Why should a sewage leak in the basement, directly below my condo drive me over the edge? Could it be the hoody wearing plumbers banging and snaking a coil from nine a.m. to 11 p.m. up pipes which refused to unclog? Could it be the stench and yes, the sludge on the floor that drove me bonkers? Could it be the neighbor from a different section of the condos, whose pipes were clogged, asking if the plumbers could come in and use a hose through my kitchen? Naw, it couldn't be that. Could it be their return the next day with a bigger truck and more plumbers? My working all day and walking into my condo, realizing it smelled even worse, going downstairs and seeing three inches of water left by the plumbers? They were gone. No one was there. Could it be my calling the property manager and being put into voice mail? Could it be never getting a return call? Naw. I'm sure that's not it. Could it be my calling 311 yesterday, their taking all my information, saying they would send a representative out there immediately and no one ever showing? Naw, that can't be it. WTF? Why haven't they come here? They should have shown up? Could it be the "so called clean-up which left some of it behind and the stench that refuses to leave? WTF? I don't have to take this. I don't have to take this. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom....." I've been put on hold. Wait, now I'm listening to all my options. I don't even remember which ones I just heard. A recording says, "Your call will be answered in the order....." OK. I got a person. A person. "Can you explain the nature of your problem?" Well, there's shit in the basement. "Could you tell me how that happened?" This neighbor had a clogged pipe and these plumbers came and then they left and it really smells and I can't stand....."Hold on. Hold on." After explaining, giving my name, address, etc., "We have a record of your calling but we don't know when someone will be coming out there." But, this is.....serious......."We'll be sending someone out there." Sure you will.....I better stop and make some Christmas cookies for them.(ha) Stress is not good for prostate cancer. This is NOT a reach.
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