Although diagnosed with prostate cancer, I wasn't ready to give up sex. After surgery, it took me awhile to get back to myself, but with hard work, therapy, and a positive attitude, it did happen. I write to help me remember and share, hoping we both get some laughs along the way. AKA ADVENTURES OF A CANCER STUD. I am now writing The Gay Detective. Soon I will link all my blogs together to one spot.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Evolution of Dance 3 .......because I survived Thanksgiving
I survived Thanksgiving. That is reason to celebrate and dance.
I'm sure people who dance are healthier. So, get down and let go....
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Nathan CHICAGO Wins....
Assessing the situation......
Getting closer......
SCORE......
And those 3 principles can apply to your choice of treating your prostate cancer
1. Assess (do research, consult with doctors, get psa and gleason scores)
2. Get closer (radiation, seeds, surgery, combination)
3. Score (make your decision and stick to it......your goal is to stand up to cancer)
Getting closer......
And those 3 principles can apply to your choice of treating your prostate cancer
1. Assess (do research, consult with doctors, get psa and gleason scores)
2. Get closer (radiation, seeds, surgery, combination)
3. Score (make your decision and stick to it......your goal is to stand up to cancer)
Saturday, November 27, 2010
May You Live In Interesting Times....
My dear friend reminds me of this Chinese curse every so often. It's probably when I worry about crashing my computer, losing my cell, or getting TIVO.
And then I have a "brain- short" and remember:
1. "sock-hop" rather than "hip-hop"
2. Kennedy and Camelot rather than Lady Gaga and trash-a-lot
3. American Bandstand with Dick Clark rather than American Idol with Simon Cowell
4. Felician Nuns rather than The Taliban
And then I have a "brain- short" and remember:
1. "sock-hop" rather than "hip-hop"
2. Kennedy and Camelot rather than Lady Gaga and trash-a-lot
3. American Bandstand with Dick Clark rather than American Idol with Simon Cowell
4. Felician Nuns rather than The Taliban
5. Reading "No Exit," rather than going to a party and looking for the "First Exit."
6. Taking drugs because they were illegal rather than taking them to stay legal
Well, I must get back to serious things, like watching "Star Wars Episode II/Clones
It beckons:
Well, I must get back to serious things, like watching "Star Wars Episode II/Clones
It beckons:
"In Time you must learn to trust your feelings, rather than Master Window."
'Til Next Time.
'Til Next Time.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Intimacy As A Second Language
We, as men, do not speak Intimacy. In fact, most of us equate the word with sex. If you are in a relationship, I would bet, initially, you couldn't get enough of each other. Time moves on and sex becomes less frequent... arguments, silences, "you don't love me anymore." Have I got it right, so far? More years pass. Kids grow and leave. And you're left alone with your partner. You ask yourself, "Who is this person? I mean really, "Who is this person?"
Then suddenly, you learn you have prostate cancer and all you can think about is sex, and you wonder:
1. Will I still get erect after treatment?
2. Will I be able to perform, even if I am erect?
3. Will I still be a man?
Answers: Maybe, maybe, yes.
Here's the deal. Your partner still loves you. And most likely, it's not because you're a super-stud.
I learned "intimacy" in my past and I'd like to pass it along.
Lesson One:
Repeat after me. I need you.
One more time. I (eye) need (knee with a d) you (u).
Now, try to add pauses:
I (pause)...need (pause)...you.
Good.
Extra points if you include your partner's name.
Finally, and this is the most difficult part, look into your partner's eyes and say it like you mean it.
You can do it. I know you can.
What happens next will surprise you and your partner, who has probably passed out.
Tears, kisses, hugs. Who knows? But, I can guarantee you, it will bring the two of you together.
And, that is the end of our first lesson speaking, "Intimacy."
Then suddenly, you learn you have prostate cancer and all you can think about is sex, and you wonder:
1. Will I still get erect after treatment?
2. Will I be able to perform, even if I am erect?
3. Will I still be a man?
Answers: Maybe, maybe, yes.
Here's the deal. Your partner still loves you. And most likely, it's not because you're a super-stud.
I learned "intimacy" in my past and I'd like to pass it along.
Lesson One:
Repeat after me. I need you.
One more time. I (eye) need (knee with a d) you (u).
Now, try to add pauses:
I (pause)...need (pause)...you.
Good.
Extra points if you include your partner's name.
Finally, and this is the most difficult part, look into your partner's eyes and say it like you mean it.
You can do it. I know you can.
What happens next will surprise you and your partner, who has probably passed out.
Tears, kisses, hugs. Who knows? But, I can guarantee you, it will bring the two of you together.
And, that is the end of our first lesson speaking, "Intimacy."
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a time of memories. A time to be with friends and family. A time to share good food. In keeping with that tradition, I will be having dinner with close friends. Each year, I bring something to the table, so to speak. This year, I've tried to replicate my Aunt Fran's pineapple upside down cake. I wish I could share it with each and everyone of you. My thanks to all of you for following. Have a great day.
Labels:
Pineapple Upside Down Cake,
Thanksgiving
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Viagra, Cialis, Levitra (The Sexual Trinity)
When I was initially diagnosed with prostate cancer, I was obsessed with sex. For those of you in the post-surgery or radiation recovery mode, there are the PDE5 inhibitors (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra) which can certainly work miracles. (Be sure to check with your Doc.) There are ways to get the plumbing to work. But while it isn't, I think we should think more about intimacy. A totally different animal, one that doesn't always need an erection, to work. If you have a partner, talk to her/him. You might be surprised to find out that sharing is sexy. It deepens a relationship. It takes you to a new level of commitment. It can turn your partner on more than your equipment, or maybe as much, or maybe not at all. Unless, of course, all you care about is shallow, unsatisfying, sweaty sex. What was my point here?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Happy Feet
When I'm happy, I dance. One of my favorites is the "boogie woogie." I've had a request for a full
manuscript. I think that's a reason to DANCE.........
manuscript. I think that's a reason to DANCE.........
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Partied Last Night
The Parties have begun......Thought I'd go say "hi." Have some holiday cheer. Thanksgiving's started. Got home at 2 (well, actually 10:30 dog time). Had a great time. Just need to close my eyes for a few minutes....
Friday, November 19, 2010
Nathan Detroit Vs. The Laptop
I've had Nate for 3 years now. I got him from Pug Rescue, and he was 3 then. In dog years, he would be 42. All that matters, is that he's my dog. When he gets into something, which does happen, I refer to him as Nathan Detroit from Guys and Dolls . Since I'm originally from Detroit, it seemed like the appropriate surname. He came into my life shortly before my mom died and a year before I discovered I had prostate cancer. To say he's been a great friend would be a gross understatement. As I write this, he is under my right elbow, snoring. He had dental surgery two weeks ago and I've spoiled him even more than usual. He's recovered. I'm not sure I have. Pre-surgery, he learned to accept my laptop, but it's been a battle. I've only had my laptop for 4 months and to Nate it was an intruder. Something that took my time and attention. At first, he would have none of it. When I worked at the kitchen table, he would cross back and forth, until he managed to disconnect it. In the morning, after breakfast (his, not mine) he'd jump on the couch arm and stare at me, threatening to jump on the computer. It was a standoff and he usually won. Once he got the attention he wanted, I'd get back to work. Since he was here before the laptop, I've decided he's right. What's fair is fair. If you're wondering, "Who's in charge?" the answer seems obvious.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
John Of God
The other day I watched Oprah and she had a show featuring a man called, John of God. I found it intriguing and it certainly made me feel how little we really know about the mind/body connection. To summarize, John lives in a remote village in Brazil and people flock to him from all over the world.
Some get cured and others don't. Quack or healer? From what I saw, I would say, healer. And, certainly, not a healer in the traditional sense. And I think that's what makes him so intriguing. Untraditional. We have all, or most of us been brought up in traditional, Western models. See doctor, get diagnosed, get treated. Usually, surgery, drugs, combination of both. Having survived cancer and lived, I often wonder why. In my case, I'm sure it was early detection. But, I also had a sense something was wrong with my body. I think my point is that we need to be more in tune with our bodies. What visitors said about John of God was that he touched their brain or that they were afraid he would touch their brain. I think the key word here is touch. Not in the physical sense, because he does that too, but in the spiritual sense. The people who seemed to be cured were the ones who allowed him to touch their spirit. Is that the key? I don't know. I don't think Oprah knows. But what I do admire and always will is that Oprah throws it out there and let's you think about it. I do believe there is something we are missing here in Western medicine. I lived in California for awhile and alternative medicine was certainly more plentiful. I think the answer is mind/body/spirit. They must be in synch for cure to happen. It is the balance, the "chi," the energy. Whatever you want to call it. Like Oprah, I'm just throwing it out there. It's something to think about. I know I am.
Some get cured and others don't. Quack or healer? From what I saw, I would say, healer. And, certainly, not a healer in the traditional sense. And I think that's what makes him so intriguing. Untraditional. We have all, or most of us been brought up in traditional, Western models. See doctor, get diagnosed, get treated. Usually, surgery, drugs, combination of both. Having survived cancer and lived, I often wonder why. In my case, I'm sure it was early detection. But, I also had a sense something was wrong with my body. I think my point is that we need to be more in tune with our bodies. What visitors said about John of God was that he touched their brain or that they were afraid he would touch their brain. I think the key word here is touch. Not in the physical sense, because he does that too, but in the spiritual sense. The people who seemed to be cured were the ones who allowed him to touch their spirit. Is that the key? I don't know. I don't think Oprah knows. But what I do admire and always will is that Oprah throws it out there and let's you think about it. I do believe there is something we are missing here in Western medicine. I lived in California for awhile and alternative medicine was certainly more plentiful. I think the answer is mind/body/spirit. They must be in synch for cure to happen. It is the balance, the "chi," the energy. Whatever you want to call it. Like Oprah, I'm just throwing it out there. It's something to think about. I know I am.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sex and Fear
Not a good combination. If you're afraid, you're not going to perform. If you think you never will, you won't. You must think positively. Having had prostate cancer two years ago, I had negative thoughts. I'm writing this in the hopes it may help anyone facing the diagnosis and taking the next step. There are many factors that determine your choice. I chose surgery. It was the best option for me. Things are back to normal. I can't guarantee your performance but I can tell you, fear is one of the best ways to prevent an erection. Treat the cancer first. Once you deal with that, you'll take the next step. I can't emphasize enough the importance of taking one step at a time. Be courageous and accept help. Dead people don't have sex, but looking back on some of my dates, maybe they do.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
One of Those Days.....
Did I send the right manuscript? What does my dog dream about that makes him twitch? Where did I put my car keys?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Cures For The Common Cold
I've had a nasty cold for the last week. I don't think there's much you can do for a cold other than get sleep, drink liquids, and stock up on kleenex. That's not news. Frankly, I think you have to wait a week and it generally runs its course. In the meantime, I get to blame my sister for giving it to me, eat chicken soup from The Bagel, and whine guilt-free. Life's good....even with a cold.
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